M O T H E R
“It's about time we had our own song
Don't know what took so long.”
“No language can express the power and beauty, and heroism and majesty of a mother’s love.”
The song lyrics continue to play and I remember thinking “Did she really?”
I could not wrap my mind around her making a song about being . . .a “baby mama.” So many stereotypes and negative connotations with single Black motherhood have been ascribed to the “baby mama” and she would choose to take the opportunity to capitalize off of this daily lived experience through the art of song? It did not make sense.
As I continued to consider how I felt about the song, the lyric “Cause nowadays it's like a badge of honor
To be a baby mama. . .” played and I wondered, “is it, really?”
Fifteen year old me cringed to ingest the lyrics, yet I could not help but sing along to this catchy melody.
Somehow, twenty years removed from my introduction to that song, the same lyrics replay in my mind as I walk this motherhood journey out. I hear it playing in my mind, louder and louder.
“Cause nowadays it's like a badge of honor
To be a baby mama,” as I do my daily mad morning dash from my bathroom to my bedroom, up to the kitchen and back to his bedroom. It continues to play “I see ya payin' ya bills
I see ya workin' ya job” and I wonder if anyone truly sees me. The evening hustle of trying to get a kid-approved, nourishing meal on the table, while trying to keep him entertained and find time to sit intentionally and do homework, the lyrics continue to play “And even though ya fed up
With makin' beds up
Girl, keep ya head up.”
I often wonder if this is natural. Is this what motherhood is supposed to look like? Is this experience unique to just me or do all mothers feel the heavy weight of it?
It’s interesting because I do, in fact, wear my title as a badge of honor. I don’t know that I’d quite revel in the idea of being a “baby mama” but I do acknowledge the strength of a mother. I think that was the idea of the song. Whether you are a single mom, an unmarried mom who has a partner or a married mom, the song applies. Momming is a hefty job. We are on even when we aren’t. We work at this craft tirelessly and selflessly trying to show up for our children and families at large while squeezing in moments to show up for ourselves. So this semi-comeback post is an ode to you momma. If no one else sees you, I do. I see you, respect you and value you.
Happy Mother’s Day!
With Love,
Cadacia
