Welcome To Motherhood
SNAPBACK IS REAL ! And I am not talking about “body” because we all know after having a baby getting your body back right is a job in itself. I am speaking about, getting back to YOU, taking care of yourself, pampering yourself (spa dates), date nights, girls night, traveling, sleeping, accomplishing goals, doing hobbies etc. For me, even pre-baby, I always felt so consumed with everything: School, Work, Family. I had little time to myself to focus on doing what makes me HAPPY, living out my dreams. So naturally after the baby, everything came to a complete stop. I became A MOM who works a 9-5 and comes home to take care of her baby, nothing more, nothing less.
Until about a year ago, a friend of mine asked me, “ What interests you?'' A simple question, right…? Wrong? I was stuck.. I immediately went straight to speaking about being a mom, my daughter blahh blahh and I thought “WHAT ABOUT YOU”? It really bothered me. So, I decided to take a break ! For several months, I detoxed from life, social media and its illusions, friendships, events, social gatherings, and any negativity. While detoxing, I was big on energy and if anyone or anything disturbed my energy, I disconnected myself from it or them. My focus was on building me again, working on self-care, eating healthy, working out, reading, praying, and working on my goals. For the first time in a long time, I was beginning to feel truly HAPPY again. Disconnecting from outside distractions helped me become in tune with myself on another level.
During my hiatus, something hit me. I realized I can still be a BOMB ASS MOM and do all the things I love and accomplish all my goals. A part of being me is being a go-getter, I take pride in my discipline and knowing that whatever I start, I finish. This is something I want to instill in my daughter, I want to show her that regardless of the challenges women face, the set-backs, failures, disappointments, we always continue to push. I want to show her my ambition, resilience, strength, love, hunger and most importantly how to be a Strong Black Mother. So instead of giving up, I created balance, I leveled up. I wrote down all my goals, began accomplishing them one by one, little by little. I no longer allowed myself to feel torn between my life and my role as a mother. It became clear, it is possible to be a mother and focus on yourself and your dreams simultaneously. Immediately, I threw my “wait until my daughter turned five and is a little more independent” plan OUT THE WINDOW... because becoming a mother shouldn’t stop you from being YOU, it should push you to achieve more because now you’re a role model to someone who sees you as perfect in their eyes.
After becoming a mother I spent so much time trying to get back to my old life rather than looking forward to my new life. Embrace the changes, adjustments, scheduling, sleepless nights, constant noise, hearing MOMMY a billion times a day, wiping every tear, every spill, play dates, Saturday activities or tantrums over how I cut the apples...
This is my new normal and I love it !
