10 Years Then VS Now

A typical day as a mom for me? Well, 10 yrs ago my days always started around 6:30am with me poking at my then 10 year old, and saying " Ty are you up yet...Dont over sleep...do you hear me?", while attempting to plan my day before it was time to take her to school, and head to work. After she and I finally finished our normal "Mom have you seen my keys...Mom I'm gonna be late,  should I take a cab?" and me asking: "Did you eat....You need money for school?" banter we did 5 days a week, at about 7:45am we would head out on our journey.  While riding with her on the bus to school, attempting not to worry that she would be coming home by herself with these "Kids" and she pretending to not notice me worrying by smiling when our eyes locked, we would part ways at 8:25am, and I'd jump on the bus and head to work for 10:00am. Given my work schedule would require me to get off at 7:00pm, or sometimes later, and most of her days were spent in school, my heart always wanted to burst into a sigh of relief when I would get my 3:15pm call saying "Momma bear I'm headed home", best 2 minute feeling; however, just like that panic ensued knowing she had a one hour journey home without me, and praying she remembered all the rules I instilled into her, so my fear would subside. Normally it did, when I got my next call/text around 4:45pm that said "Momma Bear I'm home, about to have dinner and do my homework", for now the world was good again, and could finally rest. Once I got home around 9:00pm, my question was always : "Is Ty sleep?" then I’d head in to kiss her forehead good night, and prepare for the next day.

10 years later, my mornings still start at 6:30am, but now filled with silence as I walk over to her bed, with sadness in my eyes, knowing she is away at college,  getting herself prepared for school/work, and not needing my assistance  anymore. After getting dressed to start my own day at 8:00am, I glance at my phone still thinking "Did she eat, I hope she didn’t stay up too late, does she have money?". This feeling haunts me throughout my day, as it always did, until I, later, receive my favorite call/text, as I did 10 years ago with her still saying: "Momma bear I'm home, about to have dinner and do my homework". Which keeps me content until about 9:00pm, when I look at her bed again, kiss her pillow, and await a text, or face-time call from her saying "Good night!".