Support
This date will always be special to me.
“You can’t achieve anything entirely by yourself. There’s a support system that is a basic requirement of human existence. To be happy and successful on earth, you just have to have people that you rely on.”
This was the date that I celebrated the major life shift that would occur just one month following this joyous occasion. It was my baby shower! I can clearly recall how excited I was leading up to the day. I invested a great deal of time in fine tuning the details of the event and reviewing the guest list. Once the day had actually arrived, my heart was overflowing with love for the people who showed up. I couldn’t believe the amount of people who were in attendance.
As excited and loved as I felt, however, I remember wondering how many of those people would actually show up in the aftermath of the celebration; for real life; when the newness of having my first child wore off and when I’d be in need. The moments that I’d be in need of an ear; a Target run; some dinner; a moment alone, who of the 100+ guests would be there? Many told me that they just knew I’d be a good mom, but who’d be with me to see it played out?
Three years removed from that experience, I’ve come to understand that it is not realistic to believe that everyone is going to show up. More than that, you don’t really care for everyone to show up and, truly, the expectation for those who do show up is different. I’ve learned to compartmentalize my support system and that has proven to be a mini-milestone for me in this journey.
The categories of support that I always need and where people fill in are:
• Physical — as in Momma needs to do something extremely important and I need you who I entrust my most valuable possession/ person; my baby to step in and support me.
• Emotional — as in things are tough and I really just need you to listen. I’m not even looking for a solution or an immediate response. Just lend me an ear.
• Mental/ Advisory — as in you’re a seasoned momma and you can help me with this particular thing that I cannot seem to figure out on my own.
There are other realms where support shows up, yet, these remain the most important for me. Momming is a journey filled with moments where you really don’t know what you’ll need until you actually need it. I’m eternally grateful for those people who comprise my “team” and rally around to support my child and I. I am only as great and strong as my support system.
