The Mom Alliance
When I became pregnant,
The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
-Rajneesh
there was a sudden surge of experts filling up my Instagram inbox, attacking my iMessages and snatching every ounce of in between time I had to load me up with baby and pre-baby advice.
Although I had initially viewed and referred to them as experts, they’ve really become my allies. Their level of expertise in this mom business lies in the time they’ve put in. So, let me introduce you. There’s:
The Seasoned Mom
You know, the grandma type; the mom who is old enough to be my mom (or older) and has stories of how she’s raised her child(ren). She also carries with her loads of advice and best practices for raising children.
The New Mom
She’s only been a mom for a couple of months longer than me but because she’s a couple of steps ahead of me, she’s giving fresh advice in real time. Her trial and error experiences are paving the way for me.
The Not So New Mom
She’s been a mom for a couple of years more than I have, so she’s literally peeking into my future as she gives advice. While her advice isn’t so far off from The New Mom there’s a little more insight given her experience.
The Mom-at- A-Distance
This mom gives me advice indirectly. Most of the time, she doesn’t know me but will check in on me via bae. She’d ask questions about me based on where I was in my pregnancy and give advice from that point. Now, she’ll ask about the baby and give advice based on his stage in life or things that will keep me going postpartum.
The Stranger Mom
This is the mom who I’ve randomly encountered in the street and she’s felt compelled to pour out every bit of advice and pointer she could in the limited amount of time that we’d be in one another’s pressence ESPECIALLY when I divulged that this is my first child. It felt as if she poured
Infamous quotes from the Mommy Allies include:
Get the epidural!
Don’t trust the doctors at the hospital
Sleep when the baby sleeps!
Breastfeed.
Don’t solely breast feed.
Let people help you …especially when you’re pregnant
Take as many pics of your bump because you may never see it again
Don’t let anyone steal your peace
We were made for this!
As soon as your little baby gets here, none of that pain will matter anymore
Make sure you take Lamaze classes
Oh you’ll probably deliver early because this is your first child.
Chances are your baby will probably come late because this is your first child
…. I’m sure there’s more, but I’m a new mom with new mom brain …
Aside from the memory loss as a result of: (1) being pregnant & (2) giving birth, my brain was/is fighting to contain the information overload. New mommy-dome has forced me to curate a menu of advice, which, I’ve been able to take from as I’ve needed and dispose of the rest.
So, if you are reading this and you are a mommy who has been part of my journey whether it’s been directly or indirectly, this is an ode to you.
Thank you for your wisdom & insight!