Twice As Hard
As he settles into his overused chair-desk saturated in Mickey Mouse print and his hand reaches to establish a pincer grasp with his pencil, . . .
“In America, you gotta work twice as hard to get half as much.”
… I can’t help but to think about how much time has passed. He’s at the age where he can hold a pencil and formulate semblances of symbols on a page. His sweet voice interrupts my thoughts.
“I wan’t to do my ‘E’ like this,” he protests, as usual.
I attempt to “model” the appropriate formation of the uppercase “E,” again, in spite of the fact that he deliberately averts his attention to the television until I am done. “It’s like this Mommy,” he reminds me as the once familiar symbol evolves into a long stalk with six scattered arms. I take a deep breath in an attempt not to lose it. As he continues, he looks to me for affirmation, “el?”
“Then, another el?”
“Uh-oh Mrs. James won’t be happy with this ‘o’.”
He continues to think aloud and apprehensively seek my validation as he finishes up his writing product for the day with two well formed lowercase “t’s.” As he wraps up, I allow my mind to wander about what’s next for him. Since he is beginning to show mastery of the first name, I ought to move onto the last name and then of course I should have him practice his first set of sight words … three per week; that’s sufficient. Oh, and then we can move onto word families and skip counting by twos, fives and tens. Really, I’m beginning to think that summer time will certainly be enough to have him academically astute enough to compete with the other … pre-kindergarteners…?
Pre-Kindergarten … PRE-K
The more I think about it and let that resonate, the more delusional I think I’m becoming. My three year old is already showing mastery of his first name and I have found myself consumed with him catching up as though life is race and he is preparing for college sometime soon. It’s funny because I’ve always told myself that I would not be this kind of mom; the kind who consumes herself and overburdens her child with academics to the point of exhaustion and loss of interest. It doesn’t help that when I check-in with a mom friend, she rattles off all of the things that her three year old is doing and I measure it against my own.
As I mentally ascend back down to planet earth, I remind myself that he is still a toddler. While his cognitive abilities at such a young age are to be nurtured, they are not to be overburdened. My baby should still be developing an affinity towards education and I should be nurturing his curiosity and excitement for learning through a myriad of tangible and memorable experiences. The academics will come. I must admit, however, that it is so easy to become consumed with what everyone else is and is not doing, so as to either level the playing field, or even better, raise the bar.
The Black proverb is subconsciously on repeat in the background of my mind’s soundtrack, as I only want the best for my little Black boy. I don’t ever want there to be an excuse for him to lack access to best, especially if it is within my control. Working “twice as hard” can be detrimental, however, and I know that balance is key. So, while I’m figuring out this balancing act, tell me what are your three going on four year olds up to?
Much Love,
Cadacia
