The Conscious Parent
I nestled into a comfy seat on the red and cream patterned cushion that blanketed my cold living room floor.
“Without a conscious parent there can be no conscious parenting! A conscious parent is able to maintain a certain level of awareness in their daily life, even though for most people lapses are bound to happen from time to time.”
I let out a deep sigh as I tapped the track pad, immediately enabling the green light. As her camera came on, I mustered up a smile, not knowing what to expect from this. “Hi Cadacia,” she greeted me; a warm smile to match her upbeat tone of voice.
I replied and nervously anticipated what else awaited me in this conversation with a complete stranger. She inquired about past experiences and what brought me to this place of seeking out a therapist. I divulged a little and shared of how unsuccessful I felt my last experience was. I also shared of how this time, my willingness and desperation to do the work had become more apparent to me.
I did not fully come to realize it then, as I do now, however. Therapy and healing is not just for me. It’s for everyone who is connected to me and most importantly, my sweet boy. Unraveling me. Learning me. Unlearning patterns. Taking on new ones. Seeing my life and the world ultimately through a very different lens promotes a higher order of consciousness I thought I already had prior to therapy. Now that I am knee deep in the work, I can clearly see that I had only begun to scratch the surface when I developed a certain level of consciousness that something needed to change. Listening to myself as I listen to her contributes to that awareness and helps to keep me moving forward.
So why did I choose to write a post on my mommy blog on going to therapy? Well, because I understand that me making the conscious decision to seek out professional help regarding the way I choose to navigate my life has easily been one of the best parenting decisions I could have made. I once read a post on ig that stated “I’ll never let my storm get my kid wet.” I felt that to the core. I’ve been there. I’ve done that. He was far too young to even know what was happening, let alone remember it. I thank God for that, yet, I NEVER want the compilation of any of my negative life experiences to spill over into the way I parent my child. May I always parent from a healed place… even when I’m not fully healed. May I always have a desire and consciousness to do things the right way, no matter how uncomfortable it may make me feel. This is my prayer for all parents. Parent well from a place of consciousness and wholeness and if you aren’t, yet, there, take those active steps to do so. We’re all really just winging it, yet it behooves us all to be intentional about getting it right.
Much Love,
Cadacia
